A little over a year ago when we remodeled the website, we made space for a blog so we could document our adventures. We were optimistic then that we’d grow enough to go on tour and while we did play farther and farther afield, we had yet to do an overnight.
It was big step for us to enter 2013 with an out of area show booked. Our destination? The faux Bavarian hamlet of Leavenworth to play Der Hinterhof, a bar just off the main drag. It’s not that far — just about 140 miles from Seattle — but our 9pm start time plus the added potential risk of having to cross snowy Cascade passes meant staying the night.
How’d it go? Well, here’s a list of things that didn’t happen on our inaugural tour.
- There was no need for an intervention.
- We did not use Google maps to find the nearest bail bonds office.
- At breakfast, Pam did not find a mystery tattoo on her forearm.
- We did not find a side arm under Ed’s giant furry hat.
- Mark was not required to reiterate his “no random underwear in the common areas” rule.
- Pete did not buy a ham. Or a ham hock.
- No one passed out on the couch in the green room.
- No one got drunk at dinner.
- We did not total a snowmobile.
- No one said, “These are not my pants. Why am I wearing these pants? Where did these pants come from?”
- Jim did not sing every verse of Bohemian Rhapsody in his sleep.
- We did not litter a hotel room with empty Jaeger bottles.
- Our hosts did not present us with a bill for drinks that far exceeded our bar tab.
- There was no need to sing “Stand by Your Man.”
- We did not have an awkward parking lot conversation about how, no, your “special friend” can not get a ride with us, no, we’re sorry, just… no.
- We did not carpet the interior of a rented eight person van with empty Doritos bags, Emergen-C packets, and Gatorade bottles.
From this list, it’s clear that we’re not as tour ready as we should be. We failed to deliver on even the tiniest bit of band drama. On our drive back over Snoqualamie Pass, where we did not get stuck in the snow, we decided to set our sights on Portland, Oregon, for our next overnight. If you know great venues you think we should play there, we’d love to hear about it. Apparently, we can be trusted. Don’t say anything. No one’s more disappointed than we are about our behavior.
As for our show at Der Hinterhof… well, the owners invited us back this summer to play the beer garden. After she checked us in, our hostess, Debbie, told us a story about a band they’d had last season. Apparently, they spent all day drinking in the sunshine, and when it came time for them to go on, they were too sauced to play.
We have our work cut out for us.